So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
