it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
