I showed him my bush... on skype.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize