Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
