After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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