Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
what day is it and did you see me today?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
