I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
