Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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