i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
