Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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