another moral hangover. fuck.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My penis needs a shock collar
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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