so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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