Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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