He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
