Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
