The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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