Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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