I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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