who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
