I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
