____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my shit smells like andre
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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