he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
