Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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