I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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