I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
