piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
