It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
