i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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