just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Can I color on your dick again?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
