Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
