I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
