We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
