Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
