wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
