no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Mom said you looked used
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
