no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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