What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
