are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
