I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
