Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
