You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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