We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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