wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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