How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
