I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
