how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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