Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
