I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
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