I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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