how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
