i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
